What Should I Do If the Family Refuses to Accept My Partner’s Final Wishes?

Dealing with a family that challenges your partner’s final wishes can be emotionally and legally overwhelming. However, there are steps you can take to protect your rights and ensure your partner's intentions are honored.

 
1. Stay Calm and Respectful
Disputes can become emotional, but it’s important to remain composed:

Focus on Communication: Engage in open, calm discussions to understand the family’s perspective.
Avoid Escalation: Respond with patience and empathy to prevent further tension or misunderstandings.
 
2. Verify the Validity of the Will
Ensure the will is legally binding to strengthen your position:

Check Legal Requirements: Confirm that the will meets the formalities under German law, such as being handwritten, signed, and dated.
Locate the Original Document: Present the original will, as copies may be questioned for authenticity.
 
3. File the Will with the Probate Court
Submit the will to the appropriate probate court (Nachlassgericht) to initiate the legal process:

Court’s Role: The court will validate the will and officially recognize the executor or beneficiaries.
Binding Decision: Once the court validates the will, its directives become legally enforceable.
 
4. Seek Mediation
If tensions persist, mediation can help resolve conflicts:

Neutral Mediator: Engage a mediator to facilitate discussions and find common ground with the family.
Focus on Harmony: Highlight the importance of honoring your partner’s wishes while preserving family relationships.
 
5. Consult a Legal Expert
If the family continues to challenge the will:

Inheritance Lawyer: Work with an attorney experienced in German inheritance law to protect your rights and guide you through the legal process.
Court Representation: A lawyer can represent you in court if the dispute escalates to legal proceedings.
 
6. Present Supporting Documentation
Strengthen your case by providing additional evidence:

Letters or Notes: If your partner left informal notes about their wishes, they could support the validity of the will.
Witnesses: Individuals who witnessed the drafting of the will or knew your partner’s intentions may be able to testify.
 
7. Address Claims of Mandatory Share (Pflichtteil)
Under German law, certain family members, such as children or parents, may be entitled to a mandatory share of the estate:

Understand Their Rights: If the family is entitled to a Pflichtteil, work to fulfill this obligation without undermining the overall wishes of your partner.
Seek Legal Advice: Ensure the mandatory share is calculated and distributed correctly to prevent further disputes.
 
8. Protect Your Communication
Maintain clear records of all interactions:

Document Conversations: Keep detailed notes of discussions with family members.
Save Correspondence: Retain copies of letters, emails, and other communication for potential use in legal proceedings.
 
9. Focus on Your Partner’s Intentions
Keep the discussion centered on your partner’s wishes:

Emphasize Their Desires: Remind the family that your partner’s will represents their final, carefully considered decisions.
Show Compassion: Acknowledge the family’s grief and concerns while advocating for what your partner wanted.
 
10. Be Prepared for Legal Proceedings
If all else fails, the matter may need to be resolved in court:

Inheritance Disputes: The court will evaluate the evidence and decide based on German inheritance law.
Final Resolution: Once the court issues a ruling, all parties must comply with its decision.
 
Final Thoughts
Disputes over an inheritance can be challenging, but by staying focused on your partner’s wishes and taking appropriate legal steps, you can ensure their legacy is respected. Professional legal support and mediation can help navigate these conflicts with care and resolve.